The Filters of Perception

I’m not one of those people who believe that “everything happens for a reason,” at least not in the sense that every stubbed toe and spilled cup of coffee is part of a Divine Plan to teach me an Important Lesson.  But having said that, I do believe that with the right attitude it’s possible to turn a negative into, if not a positive, then at least a learning experience. And that’s what I tried to do this last week when the flu really slammed me hard to the mat.

And overall, I’d say I failed.

I’ve been listening to a lot of Leonard Cohen lately, so as I sat in a fog of headache and dizziness I kept remembering the phrase, “There’s a crack in everything- that’s how the light gets in,” and I tried so hard to find the light.

But I couldn’t find it. The physical pain entombed my whole being. I suppose any experience that leaves you with a little more understanding and compassionate is a good one, and I do understand illness in a way that only direct experience could have shown me, but even that feels a little self-serving.

It was scary to me how dramatically my world shrank to the borders of my body. I’m a little disappointed in myself.

But I’ve been pretty healthy most of my life. This was my first real experience with an illness so all encompassing. I suppose, if I live long enough, I’ll get better at it.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “The Filters of Perception

  1. Illness is the one thing Buddha nature doesn’t take into account. It can feel like we’re at death’s door and our only instinct is to escape it. But you will feel much better when it’s past.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. … I agree with Pablo… it isn’t a situation where any extraordinary grace lies waiting to be culled by you… just face it and allow the sickness to pass…

    Like

Comments are closed.