The Devil’s Dictionary
Excerpted from The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce, ©1906:
PRESENT, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom– and of whom only– it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.
If your humor is sufficiently dark enough, you may enjoy reading the book. It’s in the public domain and may be downloaded or read online at Project Gutenberg, HERE.